For those who love love love etiquette
In Decorum: A Practical Treatise on Etiquette and Dress of the Best American Society, (1880) the author states on the subject of leaving a dinner party or Ball: “We should retire incognito, in order not to disturb the master and mistress of the house; and we should make them, during the week, a visit of thanks, at…
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Etiquette books are a great way to peek into history: I was once told that the important thing to remember is that etiquette books tend to mention the things that people are getting wrong. So, if a book mentions that you shouldn’t pick your fingernails with a knife at the table, it’s because enough people were doing…
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Generally speaking, you rarely see place cards today unless you’re at a wedding. Personally, I wish they would make a comeback. I’ve been to a lot of dinners where people approach the table and then hover, looking nervous and wondering where they should park their butts. When you don’t tell people where to sit, couples sit with…
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One of my favorite etiquette books is The Social Fetich by Lady Agnes Geraldine Grove (1908). Now, this isn’t a comprehensive book covering lots of topics. Rather the author covers just a few of what she considers areas of concern, some of which are pretty darn obscure. Case in point, a chapter on beginning and…
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I was always fascinated by one detail in my grandmother’s early life: for a time during the thirties, my grandmother had taught lessons in comportment to actors in Hollywood. My great aunt worked in the costume department of one of the old Hollywood studios and she had brought my grandmother in to work with her after…
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In the book, Social Etiquette of New York, (1879) the author tells guests “To be prompt, but not too early, to dinner, is a rigid necessity that requires no explanation. Five or ten minutes are the customary interval between arriving and the dinner hour. Earlier, the hostess may not be able to be in waiting to welcome her guests. Later…
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In the “All the Stuff” posts, I’m going to talk about obscure etiquette/dining/home items that you might not know the purpose of. This is all the stuff that might have filled a Regency, Victorian or Edwardian home. Many of these items had specialized functions in previous times that have since been lost to history. Our first items…
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My Friend, In Grecian times citizens who had done wrong might be voted out of society. Ostracization meant that no one would speak to you and you would be driven from the town, never to return. It was literally, a living death. By the Victorian times, a newer, subtler version of ostracization appeared that worked to great effect. …
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Etiquette is not just for the old fashioned, but when I’ve gone online looking for people to want to nerd out on old manners and historical etiquette, I’ve either found “experts” who were trying to sell me a class or some rather uptight folks who really needed to get laid. I love Etiquette. I love the…
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